Mom Smells Like Vodka: The horse sense of Sophie.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The horse sense of Sophie.

With Jack and Noel gone all day at school, I had the distinct privilege of engaging at length in conversation with my favorite five-year-old gal. Driving home from the store having procured juice and frozen waffles, the following conversation occurred:

Sophie: On Drake and Josh, Drake finally found out that his girlfriend likes to eat horse meat.
Me: Hmmm.
Sophie: I don't know why somebody eats horse meat; that's not my thing.
Me: It's not my thing, either. I don't even know where you could buy horse meat.
Sophie: Maybe you could buy it at the Chinese restaurant. Maybe emperors eat it, or people who live in RV's because they don't have a house.
Me: People who live in RV's eat horse meat?
Sophie: Sometimes they do.

Later on, Sophie gave me some insight on her own personal journey.

"You know when I knew I was strong? When I thought I could lift a chair, and I COULD. That's when I knew I was a strong girl."

and some insight on geography and culture:

"Chinese is really far away. They eat with chalksticks there. I ate with chalksticks, once. They should just make spoons, in Chinese. They could eat lots more."

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Hi. My name is Jack. I'm six.

My likes:
*Eggo waffles *People who will let me smell their hair *Riding in my wagon *Leaning over the side of my wagon and licking the wheels *Licking playground equipment *Bob Marley *Ray Charles *Wearing very soft pants

My dislikes:
*Diaper changes *Using the toilet *Eating food items that require chewing *Going to bed *Baby gates *Having my ears, face, head, hands, or feet touched *Caterpillars *Keeping my shoes, socks, and/or shirt on at the grocery store *Grocery shopping *Driving to the grocery store *Clowns

I'm Sophie.

I'm seven. I'm thirteen months older than Jack.
My likes:
*princesses *girl's apparel *hats *shoes *jewelry *make-up *reading books about princesses *writing my numbers and letters *riding my princess bike *pouring spoilable liquids into my plastic tea set and leaving pieces of it throughout the house*using obscene amounts of toilet paper *coloring

My dislikes:
*Jack getting into my room *the "rilly fustrating" nature of dealing with two brothers *being told not to tattle *being told not to climb up the kitchen door frame *being banned from nail polish for painting my dresser with it *

I'm Noel. I'm eleven.

Even though my Mom keeps forgetting and telling people I'm seven.

My likes:
*riding my bike *collecting gemstones and rocks *reading books like "Where Did I Come From," and "What's happening to My Body?" *hanging out with my friends *teaching Jack new tricks and signs *taking swimming lessons *microwave burritos

My dislikes:
*Sophie tattling on me *people telling me I have "beautiful curls" *having beautiful curls *getting out of bed before 10 a.m. *bloody noses *putting my dirty clothes in the laundry basket; it's really, really difficult.

Michelle Bachmann is an IDIOT. Fact.

"We're running out of rich people in this country."
"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."
Of the high-speed rail plan: "It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas. A billion dollars of a widow's money to go to pay for a brand new ride essentially from Disneyland to Las Vegas. Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?"
On Pajamas TV: "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."