Monday, August 20, 2007

Congrats to Isaiah and Patty! Wedding Highlights!

My brother-in-law and his fiancee were married this weekend. The ceremony was beautiful, the music was great, the reception was awesome. They were a gorgeous couple and we're thrilled for them!

Here are my highlights from the big event, in no particular order:

T-minus one hour from ceremony: Jack begins to make chewing and gagging sounds. I spin him around just in time to position him so that he can hork on Patty's parents front lawn.

Jack goes home to sit with grandma, where he reportedly pukes and dry-heaves his way through the evening.

Sophie attempts to taste the bird food meant to be tossed on the bride and groom during the recessional.

Sophie (flower girl #3,) visibly scratches her butt repeatedly during the ceremony, and then frowns when she sees me looking, as though I have somehow interrupted a private moment.

Dressed immaculately in a sleeveless ensemble, I spend the evening milling around in heels, my gown, and Noel's red Adidas hoody, because it's FREEZING outside.

My sister-in-law and I (but mostly I) plot to keep people from sitting at our reception table, so that we don't have to share our bottle of champagne. People sit there, anyway.

I eat too many spring rolls, then steal a soggy mini corn dog from the kids' table. It's not good, but I eat it anyway, because it's vaguely warm and I'm even more freezing, now.

I leave early, since Jack is at home sick and I don't want to leave him with my mom all night. En route to our house, some (presumably drunk or crazy) asshole tries to run us off the road, for no apparent reason. I can't get his plates down in time to report him to the police. If for some reason the aforementioned asshole happens, by some twist of fate, to be reading this, YOU SUCK, Jerkface! May karma grant you all the side effects of that "Alli" stuff they're marketing. Including the "seepage"issue.

Big congratulations to Patty and Isaiah! Wishing you thousands of happy years together... or at least dozens!

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