Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I would GLADLY give all the toes from one of my feet to anyone who could develop a "safe" cigarette.

I don't know why he/she would want my toes, but I am deadly serious.
I would do it.

I quit smoking in approximately July or August of 2006. I couldn't do it cold turkey, so I used nicotine gum.

I got addicted to the gum, and chewed it for the next 2+ years. I couldn't get off of it, so I went on the nicotine patch.

I used the nicotine patch and regular gum to wrest myself from the seductive grasp of my beloved "Equate" gum, and stopped using the patch when time was up.


Not just occasionally- every. damn. day.

I freely admit it; while other non-smokers swagger backward and frown when the wind sweeps a Marlboro cloud in their direction, I take a nice, deep breath in. I know it's poisonous second-hand exposure, but it's the only "bad" I can be, anymore.

Listen up, kids. As sexy as you might think it looks to slide a Camel between your long, outstretched fingers, draw it up to your lips, and take a long, salaciously sweet drag, before you know it, the outcome is this:

You're a thirty-one-year old woman at the park with your kids, trying to covertly position yourself downwind from a dirty-looking old man in a Miller Lite hat so you can suck some second-hand from his steadily burning GPC.

Just don't even start.

1 comment:

Linda said...

Kinda of makes me think--what would I give all my toes for. A permanent 60lb. weight loss would be worth at least 5 toes. (Can you still walk without toes?) Maybe I'd take 3 from one foot, and two from another.