Mom Smells Like Vodka: Another Forty-Five Minutes of My Life I'll Never Get Back...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Another Forty-Five Minutes of My Life I'll Never Get Back...

It's pretty much self-explanatory.

2 comments:

Linda said...: Ya, but just think of how much time Jack spent getting all that stuff down there! And that's just the stuff you could reach. How much more might have gone further down?; April 24, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Linda said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; April 24, 2009 at 3:25 PM

Post a Comment

Hi. My name is Jack. I'm six.

My likes:
*Eggo waffles *People who will let me smell their hair *Riding in my wagon *Leaning over the side of my wagon and licking the wheels *Licking playground equipment *Bob Marley *Ray Charles *Wearing very soft pants

My dislikes:
*Diaper changes *Using the toilet *Eating food items that require chewing *Going to bed *Baby gates *Having my ears, face, head, hands, or feet touched *Caterpillars *Keeping my shoes, socks, and/or shirt on at the grocery store *Grocery shopping *Driving to the grocery store *Clowns

I'm Sophie.

I'm seven. I'm thirteen months older than Jack.
My likes:
*princesses *girl's apparel *hats *shoes *jewelry *make-up *reading books about princesses *writing my numbers and letters *riding my princess bike *pouring spoilable liquids into my plastic tea set and leaving pieces of it throughout the house*using obscene amounts of toilet paper *coloring

My dislikes:
*Jack getting into my room *the "rilly fustrating" nature of dealing with two brothers *being told not to tattle *being told not to climb up the kitchen door frame *being banned from nail polish for painting my dresser with it *

I'm Noel. I'm eleven.

Even though my Mom keeps forgetting and telling people I'm seven.

My likes:
*riding my bike *collecting gemstones and rocks *reading books like "Where Did I Come From," and "What's happening to My Body?" *hanging out with my friends *teaching Jack new tricks and signs *taking swimming lessons *microwave burritos

My dislikes:
*Sophie tattling on me *people telling me I have "beautiful curls" *having beautiful curls *getting out of bed before 10 a.m. *bloody noses *putting my dirty clothes in the laundry basket; it's really, really difficult.

Michelle Bachmann is an IDIOT. Fact.

"We're running out of rich people in this country."
"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."
Of the high-speed rail plan: "It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas. A billion dollars of a widow's money to go to pay for a brand new ride essentially from Disneyland to Las Vegas. Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?"
On Pajamas TV: "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."