Monday, August 11, 2008

John, John, John, tsk, tsk.

So John Edwards had an affair. He might have fathered a child outside of his marriage. It's disappointing for anyone who supported him, but is it shocking in a political context? Probably not. Politicians of every stripe seem compelled to bask in the "dark" privileges that entice those who grasp the brittle reigns of power. What I'm really disappointed about is the lack of creativity in his deviance.

Christianity holds that adultery is a sin. Our leaders are supposed to be upstanding, exceptional individuals, yet so many fall prey to the simple, albeit destructive lure of the flesh.

If John Edwards had to pose sin, I wish he could have picked a more interesting one.

I have examined a list ( of purported grave and/or mortal sins and culled from such an assemblage of sins that I endorse as "way more interesting than banging a political aide."

Divination, magic and sorcery— "A grave sin which includes attempting to command the powers of the occult, control or speak to demons or spirits (especially Satan), attempting to divine the future, and the use of magic charms."

If a political candidate were found to be stuffing his pockets with "magic charms" and trying to contact spirits or demons, I would probably be MORE inclined to vote for him.

Deliberate failure of the Sunday obligation— "Involves one's failure to praise God and give him thanks..."

I would love it if some political figure spent every Sunday morning at Denny's eating breakfast, then blowing down neighborhood sidewalks on a juiced-up Segway.

Lukewarmness—"Lukewarmness is negligence in response to God’s charity. It can also mean the refusal to give oneself to the prompting of charity."

I would totally back up any political officer who refused to donate money to that snotty boy who comes to my door every year to collect money for Camp Miller. I'm fine with his cause, but he just stands there holding out the box as though he can't talk, and I've heard him talk, because he dropped the f-bomb at another kid while riding his bike past my house last summer.

Theft— To "violate a person’s right to property by theft is a grave sin, especially if the loss of the property will severely hurt the victim The gravity of theft is determined by the harm it does to the victim. "

How funny was it when Winona Ryder got busted for shoplifting? How funny would it be if rather than cheating on his wife, Edwards had gotten arrested for eating grapes out of a produce bin at a Boise Super Wal-mart?

Come on, candidates; let's make this whole "sin and political corruption" business a little more interesting for the viewers at home. It's pretty much your patriotic duty.

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